


Da smexy Edgey Childhood ruining fic of da Century

by ItsaMePatches



Category: VeggieTales
Genre: Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, Other, Parody that parodies parodies, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 18:51:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17586395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsaMePatches/pseuds/ItsaMePatches
Summary: It was a fine day in the kitchen for the veggieyeggie crew until....UNTIL!! Gaaaaasp!Find out what happens next!!





	Da smexy Edgey Childhood ruining fic of da Century

**Author's Note:**

> UwU This show is for babies and is a brainwash UwU
> 
> No special/delicate snowflakes should ready this because of veggie violence UwU don't like don't weed

     Once upon a time, it was one fine day, it happened one day ago in a kitchen far, far away when the entire crew of Veggietales were plotting their next episode to brainwash da children becuz they're horrible sentient food and must die.

     As they continues talking...

      ** _WHAM!_** A KNIFE CAME DOWN AND IMMEDIATELY KILLED AN INNOCENT PERSIMMON THAY WAS JUST A SIMPLE BYSTANDER BUT I THINK PERSIMMONS R GROSS SO I KILLED IT.

     The survivors..thsy screamed in fright from the bloody site of persimmon guts and seeds yummy yummy.

     "What the bloody hell?!" An asparagus in a single glasses thingy said with his fake as fuk britiah accent.

     "Watch your damn mouth there are chilsren here," Bahb da tomateo said with a frown as persimmon guts rolled down his check.

     A sECOND NIFE CAME DOWN AND STRUCK A MUSHROOM MAN BUT NO ONE KNEW HIS NAME SO nobody cried out his name upon seeing his death.

     "Die you evil Christian fruits die" boomed a voice from above just seconds before

THE NIFE CAME DOWN AGAIN AND KILLED ANOTHER BACKGROUND CHARACTER. Everybody screamed.

     The knife lifted again and before the sentient food could absorb everuthing happening..................THEY KNIFE STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED AND STABBED SOME MOAR!

     Dad Asparagus smashed a glass bittle and yelled, "SCATTER!" But then he notixed the sharp pointy edge of da bottle and got scared so he fell backwards and fainted rip.

     Everybody elae scattered tho. Dad is probably okey.

     A stagedoor opened and Mr Lunt poked his head in. He saw his crewmembers and whatever those other fruits and veggies were with them. He looked over his shoulder at his boss, Mr. Nezzer, as he came behind him. "Yeah...let's just head to the bar for a drink instead, boss," he said to the...bIG zucchini bunny man.

     He nodded in agreement. "Let's."

     Mr Lunt closed the door behind them without another word as they left.

     Anyway

     STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB THIS KNIFE WAS GONNA MAKR A SEXY GARDEN SALAD OUT OF THESE RELIGIOUS VEGETABLES! Oh if only they were secular veggies would the knife leave thrn alone but alas that was not the case.

     Then the knife killed a strawberry, a celery, a bell peper, my smexy big boobed Sausage Party sona Miss Banaboobies!

     THEN THE KNIFE STABBED BIBLEMAN WHO HAD RAN INTO THE KITCHEN T O STOP THE VICOUS ATTACK AND JUMPED IN FRONT OF THE ASSAILANT WITH A SLOW "nOOOOOOO" before he died of a broeken and literal bleeding heart. Yay destroying two childhood shows at once aren't I smart and funny? :D

     The shrieks intensified because BIBLEMAN WAS DED AND WAS NOW BLEEDING ON THE COUNTER HIS BLOOD SPILLING ALL OVER THE PLACE BLOOD

     "I WANNA THROW YOU ALL INTO A BLENDER AND MAKE A SEXY ABOMINATION DRINK WHILE I BURN YOUR STUDIO DOWN," he sexily said

     Larry the Cucumber blinked. "Uh, sexily?" He looked to the british assparagus. "Is that a word Archie"

     "No", said Archie, "this unseen man is a total dumbasshole."

     "LANGUAGE YOU BISEXUAL DISASTER," Bohb moaned.

     The killer screamed "DON'T IGNORE ME WHEN I'M KILLING YOU PEOPLE"

     The knife came down and stabbed a poor pumpkin, orange pumpkin guts flew everywhere, some of the seeds even knocking over and killing the smaller fruits and veggies in their path

     BuT THEN......................................the knife was about to come down again and again and again but..........

     A giant foot came down and smushed the attacker, the foot making a soft fart sound upon impact.

     Everybosy callemed the heck down and stared as the humongous as hell (to them because they're fruits and vegetables) foot rose high and higher. It flew up the newly made hole in the celing without a word becuz it's a freaking foot.

     Larry the Cucumber gasped, "was that God?"

     Bahb sighes "considering what a crazy day this was i wouldn't b surprised you gay disaster"

     Archie spoke" Bob shut the fuck up WITH the soddingly pathetic insults and just realize that people died here"

     Larry nodded. "Besides Mr Lunt's the official gay disaster remember"

     "aNYWAY...PEOPLE DIED HERE JUST NOW SHOULDN'T WE REFLECT" Archie spoke again

     "I'm a child" Junior informed nobody

     "Shut the hexk up" Laura said.

     Bahb shrugged. "Even though some of us died...at least the rest of us survived........and that the danger is ove and that we didn't die like in those parody fanfics"

     Dad asparagus awoke and screamed "I FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE STOV"

      ** _kABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!_**

**Author's Note:**

> Lol I can't believe there's a Veggietales fandom? That there are people who actualy like da shoe? such cwinge uwu
> 
> I'm gonna go eat a rock now bye livelies *waves vigiously*


End file.
